Thursday, July 19, 2012

My Drug Use

I have tried a few joints while living in Denmark. I am happy my experience has been rather poor and a good aversion to future drug use. I am lucky in one aspect. Open access to MJ and hash allowed me to  experiment without first developing contacts to a criminal underworld or addicts. I believe it is the association with people who have little concern over themselves or second thoughts on committing crimes to pay for their addiction that draw young kids into a life of crime. I was able to buy a joint, a white widow, at a stall from a man I never met before who did nothing to conceal his business or embrace thuggish methods in business. I left Christania as a faceless individual, an unknown person who nobody gave a damn about. No one would come after me to push more drugs or press me for money. I was free to come and go as I chose, and this choice was important.

I was staying with friends of my mother who had given me room and board. I had dinner with them and was open about me experimenting with this drug. I had an idea of creating a documentary about the open drug culture in Denmark and drug use around the world. I needed this experience so I could have a common ground, knowledge which I could share with others. I sat in their living room, lit up the joint, took two puffs and went to bed to have a trip from hell. I remember laying on my side, looking at my hand. My vision had turned to shades of gray with sharp contrasts between black and white. Looking at my hand, it moved in a most unnatural manner, robotic and comparable to watching frames of movement under a strobe light. My head was spinning, dizzy and clouded. At no point was I happy or excited. It was uncomfortable in the same way one feels on a ship.

This experience, confirmed by a few other occasions when I was willing to try it, with similar feelings of discomfort, has been my strongest argument against me smoking MJ or doing most other kinds of drugs. It would be duplicity on my part to claim drugs are evil and no one should ever do them. I also do take Ritalin to treat ADD and enjoy the focused mind set and the results I can attain. What I can learn, what I can read. My brain is sharpened, and I enjoy that. I cannot therefor tell others they are not allowed to do it or are stupid for doing so, just because I had bad experiences with that drug. But I am thankful for the experience as a moment where I was taught why I shouldn't, and thankful for the safe environment I was provided.

- Servus